Punos Dos Tres

 My sister, Kezza Kay, speaks Spanish, so I make sure I often say "mucho" when we catch up.

I know it means a lot to her.

Kezza Kay Anything is better than you saying "Enter-o somewhere else-o"

Peter Kapitola Are you saying my puns are a bridge too far? They don't really span the gap very well? Only span-ish?

Dennis Preston After a while, when that becomes the norm, you could upgrade to muchísimo!!

Kezza Kay aprecio que hayas puesto el tilde en muchísimo - muchos lo olvidarían 👌 buen toque.

Jayne Meister and that would mean very very much to her! 😜

Damien Bailey I like the phrase 'Buenos Nockers' personally. Nice thing to say at the end of the night 🙂

Peter Kapitola Did you all si what I did there?

Wendy McClenaghanYes

Disney and Disfoot

 I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better - Disney or Warner Bros. I have to say it got very animated.

Peter Kapitola I can already hear the Moana-ing.

Ter Ry Wonder if we should put Pixar in the list too? Sure you could get a 'Buzz out of it.

Peter Kapitola They Woodyn't have to, since Pixar is part of Disney.

Ter Ry I 'HAM liking where this is heading, if only we could make sure this wasn't 'Dwarfed by other threads, that would make me Happy.

Peter Kapitola Yeah, this should be Ariel treat.

Tracey Smith I might Jas-mine my own business, but Aladdin any others I think of... come on surely Simba-dy else has a few more Disney puns just lion around....

Grapes of Mirth

Please tell your friends about the dangers of choking on dried grapes. It's all about raisin awareness.

Kezza Kay Definitely a headline for Currant Affairs

Jayne Meister Kezza Kay very clever!

Chris Reynolds That deserves a special edition groan.

Puns Given Forever

 I really wanted to come up with a pun about the Ever Given. But I guess that ship has sailed.

Jayne Scaddan 🤦🏼‍

Jessie Kapitola Thank you. Appropriate response.

Peter Kapitola What are you talking aboat?

Jayne Scaddan Peter Kapitola didn’t know you were Canadian!

Peter Kapitola Jayne Scaddan I'd really be up ship creek then.

Jayne Scaddan No that’s Scottish!!

Peter Kapitola I think this requires further canalysis.

Jayne Scaddan Peter Kapitola careful, or I’ll get my lawyers to suez you!

Jessie Kapitola *I'm out of here GIF*

Peter Kapitola Jessie can't container annoyance.

Jayne Scaddan Up ship creek without a paddle eh?

Lee Herridge At least you gave it a car-go

Peter Kapitola Lee Herridge Thanks. I was stuck for quite a while.

Kezza Kay A stuck ship is the best pun gift ever given.

Peter Kapitola Kezza Kay It just keeps on giving, like some sort of tree that doesn't lose its leaves.

Boom Truckalucka

 

It must have been a Mach truck. It was really mooooving. It was pasteurize in a flash!

Trond E Hildahl Cookies, stat!

Kezza Kay How dairy mix them up!

Peter Kapitola He was going whey too fast.

Peter Kapitola That barrier curdn't stop him!

Pret a Munch, eh?

At first I thought I was buying pretzels, but it turns out that these are...

Kezza Kay

Oh man, I thought you were buying pretzels too... dough!

Wolfish Grin

Wolf 1: "What did you do to the river? It's all blocked up."

Wolf 2: "Remember all those deer that collapsed from the heat? There were too many for us to eat, so I dumped the rest in the river."

Wolf 1: "So you dammed it with faint preys?"

Wolf 2: *growls*

Damon James: Your puns are on another level man. I salute you.

Daniel Lefebvre Damn.

Nick Whiley That’s a howler.

The Naked Pun

"We apologize that everyone's clothing is taking so long to arrive. In the meantime, please bare with us."

Kezza Kay It's a new dawn, it's a nude day.

Peter Kapitola I like puns. But you already nudist.

Kezza Kay Peter Kapitola apparelntly

Jarod Mellor I knew a king once who had the same problem, his Royal Heinie we used to call him.

Ter Ry Just looking for the reply in thread option

Ter Ry Your comments leave people in stitches

Kezza Kay Ter Ry, I really think we should clothes the book on this topic.

Peter Kapitola Kezza Kay, Nay...cud we think of some more?

Caitlyn Conner Parker This is a very good thread.

Doctor It Yourself

Patient: When you do my surgery, can you let me close up the incision?

Surgeon: Fine, suture self.

Ryan Hancock Too funny, had me in stitches 😂

Joe Wood Screw stitches, staples and paint on invisible band aids are where it's at 😂

Peter Kapitola

Patient: Great! Can I do my own anaesthesia as well?

Surgeon: Sure, knock yourself out.

Luc Alex Raphael Dad is that you?!😁

Pi-rate

Do you think math puns would add or subtract from the learning experience? (Daniel Braithwaite can probably addvise on this 1).

Boyd Zurg I disagree, cos pi is always negative

Peter Kapitola I feel like that's going off on a tangent.

Tracey Smith Maths puns can be so dividesive…

Daniel Braithwaite I'm not sure what the product would be. Id say that it would be integral to differentiate the learning experience.

Take it, as Red.

My highschool essay about

Communism was so good,

my teacher made me

share it with the class

Peter Kapitola I got top Marx!

Kate Wilson So great to hear it was red.

Peter Kapitola It was revolutionary!

Daniel Lefebvre I bet you're classmates stood in line just to get a piece of it 😉

Peter Kapitola There was quite a class struggle involved.

Dennis van Hout And everyone got an A+ !!!! 🤪

Peter Kapitola Sadly, no. We had to share the marks, so everyone failed.

Dennis van Hout ... Fair enough., ..and more accurate. That's Socialism and Communism in a nutshell indeed.

Peter Kapitola On a large scale, pretty much.

Jason Bagwell Who keeps letting you out?!

David Mullender Did you dictate?

Wearing Out the Joke

Knock knock.

- Who's there?

Interrupting coefficient of friction.

- Interrupting coefficient of fri....

mmmuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!

Boyd Zurg Wow. That's really bad.

--- 6 years later ---

Peter Kapitola Sorry to rub you the wrong way, Boyd.

Boyd Zurg From 6 years ago?? Talk about dragging something on 😜

Peter Kapitola You're really just creating friction here, aren't you.

Boyd Zurg I'm not the one forcing this discussion on people

Peter Kapitola You mean you're just trying to smooth things over?

Boyd Zurg No I'm trying to grind it to a halt

Peter Kapitola You don't have the grit for this, methinks.

Boyd Zurg Sorry to brake your heart

Peter Kapitola Such an abrasive personality.

Boyd Zurg That's a bit rough don't you think?

Peter Kapitola Fine. I undersand. Maybe you need a knap. Go hone.

Boyd Zurg Finally! I've been chafing at the bit to leave. Bye!

Peter Kapitola You've been carbiding your time.

Go directly to puns

 Kate Wilson I bought a second hand monopoly set. It had no instructions. What are the chances?

Peter Kapitola Good idea to ask the community - they are a treasure chest of information. Mayfair winds be with you on your quest!

Kate Wilson aww you'll make me turn on the waterworks in a minute!

Peter Kapitola GO for it!

Kate Wilson I won't send you to jail.

Kezza Kay I almost won a Monopoly set, but in the end I only got second place.

Current Ideas on Parenting

Tim Valdez tagged Peter Kapitola 

Tim Webb Ohm my god this is punishing. Watt where you thinking? I'm giving this joke a lot of resistance.

Cate Mountford Omg literally went to share this on Peter s timeline 🤣

Peter Kapitola How revolting! That would make me say to him "Wire you like this?"

Kezza Kay This hertz.

Peter Kapitola It's shocking behaviour, really.

Jake Dupuis Ohms sure he'll enjoy it!

Sore Bones

Peter Kapitola

• Patient: When you do my surgery, can you let me close up the incision?
• Surgeon: Fine, suture self.

Ryan Hancock Too funny, had me in stitches 😂

Peter Kapitola

• Patient: Great! Can I do my own anaesthesia as well?
• Surgeon: Sure, knock yourself out.

Angry White Mail

Peter Kapitola If you rearrange the letters of MAILMEN, you can make THEM VERY ANGRY.

Jessie Kapitola 🙄 

Jason Bagwell Jessie how do you cope?

Peter Kapitola I letter roll her eyes at me a lot.

Jason Bagwell Jessie, if he goes missing, we'll all understand. The Outback is huge.... just sayin.

Kezza Kay Do they go postal?

Peter Kapitola Nah, they take out their frustrations in a mailboxing ring.

Kezza Kay I mean, it's a good pun, but it is all about the delivery.

Peter Kapitola I'm glad that you've addressed this.

Kate Wilson Kezza and Peter, you know what they say about wordplay with siblings: puns in the family

Kate Wilson What about the people who deliver the bills? They're fee mail. And when a mailman and a mailwoman run away and get married, they envelope.

Food Time

 

Peter Kapitola Timely advice.

Kezza Kay But as a well-rounded meal, it tics all the boxes.

Kezza Kay And afterwards, you sleep like baby! ..Analog.

Peter Kapitola It's good with a nice temporal batter.

Boyd Zurg No, but I'd watch if you tried.

Boyd Zurg ..and maybe even lend a hand.

Kezza Kay and I'd lend a second hand.

Boyd Zurg Hour help will be Civil

Peter Kapitola You're all trying to wind me up, aren't you.

Boyd Zurg To make you go cuckoo.

Wong Lighting

The lights at the Chinese restaurant were too bright, so they decided to dim sum.

Corey Sullivan Stealing this 🤣🤣🤣

Peter Kapitola Corey Sullivan, I will not tolerate such won ton plagiarism!

Corey Sullivan I'm American if i see something I like I take it. 😂🤣😂

Ben Chin Oh this is so funny

Peter Kapitola It's good to see some pun lovers Peking their heads out.

Ben Chin Pun lovers? You mean bun lovers. 😋

SteveVicki Shepherd Peter Kapitola, you’re the master of this! 😂

Jessie Kapitola SteveVicki Shepherd DO NOT encourage him!

Peter Kapitola Jessie Kapitola So sweet, so sour...

Peter Kapitola They also realized that they were using far too much red and not enough beige. So they began the Beijing process.

Punway - Think Fresh

Peter Kapitola Everyone thought it was silly of me to invent a thought-controlled air freshener, but it makes scents when you think about it.

Kezza Kay Odour me.

Ben Chin Something smells funny here.

Brandy Chap This pun stinks.

Astro Nut

Peter Kapitola If someone dies on the International Space Station, do the newspapers print an orbituary?

Jarod Mellor Circular reference found

Jessie Kapitola No. No they don't.

Peter Kapitola Oh right. I suppose there's no space for it?

Tracey Smith Sorry Jessie - but these are funny.

Kezza Kay There's no space left in the newspaper because that's the thing about death in space... nobody can planet.

Rebecca Malcolm Even if they did, the newspapers aren’t in circleation there.

Peter Kapitola But Karman, it's for an astronaut! I guess you have to draw the line somewhere.